April fools episode, pre-empting the much anticipated conclusion of last season's Cartman's Mom Is a Dirty Slut. Terrance and Phillip travel to Iraq to retrieve Terrance's daughter. While they are away, Saddam Hussein begins taking over Canada.

While stuck in the genetic engineering laboratory after Mephesto's shooting, the crew of America's Most Wanted show up to recreate the incident. Meanwhile, Mrs. Cartman sleeps with high-ranking officials to convince them to abort Cartman (confusing abortion with adoption) and Chef takes the boys with him when he drives Mephesto to the hospital so he can be revived.

A "chicken fucker" (called "chickenlover" around the children) is loose in town, prompting Officer Barbrady to confess to his illiteracy and make Cartman a deputy cop.

The boys try to save Kyle's brother from being circumcised. Meanwhile, Mr. Mackey gets fired from his job after losing a sample of marijuana and begins experimenting with drugs.

Mrs. Broflovski sets up an appreciation week for the deformed school nurse. Meanwhile, Chef forces the kids to compete in school dodgeball championships.

The boys get back at Jimbo and Ned for telling a false story about being in the Vietnam War. Meanwhile, a producer plans to turn Jesus and Pals into a Jerry Springer-style talk show to save it from low ratings.

In this clip show episode, Ms. Crabtree becomes a famous stand-up comedian while the South Park kids reminisce on all their adventures while stuck on a bus on the edge of a cliff.

The town bans fireworks and must come up with an alternative for their Fourth of July celebration. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison loses Mr. Hat to Brett Favre and Cartman struggles with swimming lessons.

A film festival from Los Angeles comes to South Park and corrupts it with their lack of culture.

The boys' mothers force their children to hang out with Kenny so they can get chickenpox. Meanwhile, Kyle's mom tries to patch up the long-broken relationship between her husband and Kenny's dad.

The town is brainwashed by the curator of a planetarium. Meanwhile, Cartman auditions for a new Cheesy Poofs commercial.

The boys create a clubhouse so they can get girls to play "Truth or Dare". Meanwhile, Stan's parents divorce.

A couple wins a vacation to South Park on a game show. Meanwhile, Kyle uses Cartman for a bullriding contest and the South Park cows worship a statue.

When Chef is sued for pointing out that Alanis Morrissette's new song is actually a song he wrote years ago, the boys hire Chef's famous musician friends to raise money. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison suspects Mr. Hat of several attempts on Mr. Twig's life.

Beings from a parallel universe come to South Park, such as a nice version of Eric Cartman and a killer goldfish.

Stan runs away to visit Cartman's relatives in Nebraska. Meanwhile, Cartman's uncle and Charles Manson break out of prison.

The boys are forced to write a current events paper to save Mr. Garrison's job as well as Tweek's father's small-time corporation. Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny are grouped together with Tweek, a jittery child, who suggests that the presentation be on the "Underpants Gnomes", tiny men who sneak into his house and steal his underwear. Meanwhile, a local cafe is being threatened by a big-time corporate coffee shop.

Stan and Kyle discover a man who has been trapped in the ice since 1996, but break up when they decide on different names for him. Meanwhile, the "ice man" tries to reconnect with his wife and kids.