After having his tonsils removed Cartman contracts HIV, but when he finds out that people no longer care about AIDS he looks for a cure. Kyle finds it funny that Cartman has AIDS and so Cartman finds a way to give Kyle AIDS to settle the score between them.

When the boys try to get Britney Spears' picture, they discover the shocking secret behind her popularity after Britney Spears shoots herself in the head and is forced by others to continue making pop music.

In this South Park homage to the 1981 film Heavy Metal, the boys are trying to get Kenny off the latest drug craze--sniffing urine from male cats in order to get high. Meanwhile Cartman tries to hide all the cats he can in his attic after the town bans keeping cats as pets.

The head of the World Canadian Bureau leads the country into a strike over money made over the Internet that they believe is being withheld from them. Meanwhile, the South Park boys try to turn Butters into the latest viral video star.

While Mrs. Garrison is off trying to find a way to become the man she always intended to be, by having a penis grown on a mouse, Cartman is put in charge of the class. After doing a great job, he is put in charge of a city school class.

One day the citizens of South Park wake up and find the Internet is gone. When Randy hears there may still be some Internet out in California, he packs up his family and heads west.

While the kids are on an educational field trip to a living museum, Cartman forces Butters to sneak away from the class to go to the amusement center, located next door. While they are away, the living museum's cast and the rest of the class are taken hostage by criminals.

Cartman and Butters attempt to prevent the Chinese take-over of America by invading a Chinese restaurant, while Stan, Kenny, Kyle, Jimmy and Clyde campaign for justice for their sexually assaulted friend, Indiana Jones.

Wendy is fed up with Cartman's jokes when he makes fun of her report on breast cancer, and challenges him to a fight, Cartman is shocked and frightened of the possible confrontation that might ruin his purported reputation.

The world faces a wave of Peruvian pan flute bands. The boys ask for Craig's financial support to form a pan flute band of their own, while the government tries to decide how to handle the "pandemic".

The boys are lost in the Andes Mountains where they discover the startling secret behind the attack of the giant guinea pigs. Meanwhile, Randy bravely documents the destruction while trying to save his family.

Following the 2008 US presidential election, Barack Obama catches everyone off guard when he arrives at the White House prematurely. Meanwhile, his supporters in South Park take to the streets while John McCain's supporters try to cope with the defeat.

The boys realize they are the only kids at school who are not hit by the new High School Musical fad. Stan becomes afraid of losing Wendy if he does not begin to sing and dance himself.

A vampire fad is spreading at South Park Elementary. Butters believes that the "vampire kids" are actual vampires and becomes tempted to join them. Meanwhile, the Goth kids discover, to their frustration, that the other kids are unable to tell the difference between a goth and a vampire kid.